Sunday, February 27, 2011

Psalm 32:7

"You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance."

No matter what happens in my life, this is always where I end at. It is sort of my resting place, my natural habitat: dazed and confused. With so many things surrounding me in this world, I don't know where to turn to or what to do. I find myself sitting on my bed for hours on end, wishing that I had someone who would give me a yes or no answer for what I need to do with my life. Hard questions as to where I should find a job to even simply what color I should dye my hair.

It is so hard to find that one good friend in this world. That one person who cares for you unconditionally, and you can always turn to them no matter what happens in your lifetime. I find myself turning to prayer, just so I have someone to talk to. I find myself opening the Bible, just so I have someone who is giving me advice.

Sadly, though out all of this, I still feel like I am alone on some things. It is so hard to go through life making every decision on your own, especially when it impacts other people. I wish God had signs that he held up saying "warmer" or "colder" as you went through life. Maybe some of these things that I stress about the most wouldn't even matter then. Sometimes I feel like the clock is ticking and I still haven't made the move I needed to make. Sometimes I feel like I am moving backward when I should be moving forwards.

Again, I guess that is the joy in life: making mistakes. I have to learn to take them with happiness and love instead of this stressful anger. Right now, I see every door opening as a reason of stress instead of a reason for celebration. Maybe I need to change my whole idea of how I see this world. After all, earth is not a bad place. Madison is not a bad place. Under God's wing is a wonderful place. Maybe I can try to look at life as how it was meant to be.

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