Sunday, February 13, 2011

Self-knowledge

Today, I received a message from a fortune cookie that said, "Self-knowledge is a life long process." That fortune actually made me quite sad. I know that throughout our lives, we struggle with who we are and what we should do for that day and the rest of our life, but the fact that we struggle is not an idea I like to dwell on.

I hope that sometime in my life, I will reach a point in which I know that what I have planned is the right path for me. One of my friends told me that throughout your life, you will continually search for love because you always think that there is something bigger and better out there for you. You never really know what you have or even if what you do have is right for you. But you have to risk everything that you have at that moment to at least give it a try, otherwise you will never accomplish everything. So unless you take a chance on love, on a career, on life in general, you will not know if that love, that career, that life was good for you.

In a way, life is like continuously jumping off a cliff into the ocean below. You never know if you will make a safe landing or if you will get the air knocked out of you when you hit the water. I would never be the one to make that jump. I am always the one who makes a series of decisions before I act upon something I think that I may want. I am always the one who is optimistic but never beyond the lines of possibility. I am glad more than anything that I took a chance on love; I am glad that one day, I jumped off that cliff. God pushes us off that cliff every now and then. Sometimes there is a path that He wants us to take, so He gives us a reminder of what we should do; if we ignore Him, then He gives us a little push.

So, I guess that what this life comes down to is courage. Without courage, you can accomplish nothing. Without courage, you would never be able to take a chance. This life is full of chances; every path leads you to a multitude of chances that will lead you down another path. It is only your choice in which path you go down, but you have to have courage to take a path.

I am hoping that I will be able to figure out what I want from life before it is the end for me, and I believe that is an actual possibility for me. But courage, courage is something we struggle for throughout our life. So that fortune cookie should have said, "Finding courage is a life long battle." I know people who have more courage than other, there are people who are 'fearless' - but that is not who I am. I struggle with what path to take and usually end up taking the path that requires the least amount of courage. I hope I can change that; I would like to take the leap into the ocean every now and then.

"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD." [Psalm 31:24]

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