Friday, March 11, 2011

Rock and a Hard Place

I don't know how I feel about all that is happening right now. I feel like I devoted a lot of time and effort to a job position that I feel booted out of now. Worse of all, all the midterms that I thought I did so well on, turns out I didn't do that great.

I feel caught between two things that I love. I love fashion and I love the fashion industry. But I know that I need to get a good major in school above all else. I really want to get more involved in fashion right now, but I know that I need to spend the majority of my time focused on school. I do want to do well in school, but it is very hard for me to be excited about my major. I love my philosophy class, but I am feeling like business is not my place to be. With all that life has taught me, I know that majoring in a tough major in a tough school is the best way to go because it sets you up for good things in life. It is just hard for me to devote so much time to finance and accounting when all I really want to do is be a part of the fashion industry as a producer and a model.

I pray that God will show me the right way to go. I know He will. I know that everything that everything will work out for the better in the end; it is just hard for me to handle everything right now.

I feel like my life is being pushed towards the direction of fashion, which is why I started my new blog:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Madison-Fashionista/170296436356584?sk=wall
But it is so hard to spread the news and try to get people to support me. Plus, I never know if people really support me or not. You never know if people are really happy for you or if they believe that you are doing something wrong. You don't ever really know if they are only happy for you because they think they will get something out of it. I know that I sound very critical right now, but I am just so unsure about people's behaviors and intentions. I wish that people were more forward with what they thought. Because when they are not, it is hard for me to figure out what I should do with my life. Hopefully, I will figure it out soon.

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